How Can You Work With The Dynamics Of Conflict This Holiday Season?

Ashes & Earth Tarot

A Collaboration with Ashes and The monthly tarot calendar is a collaboration with Ashes and Earth Tarot.


December — 5 Of Wands | Knight of Cups

As we enter the holiday season, the collective energy tends to ramp up. Our culture is geared towards excess during the holidays and the pressures tend to pile, whether they be social, financial or emotional. On top of all that, we have family obligations, which are more or less complicated for everyone.

And, we’re still very much in a pandemic. Thankfully, we have more tools and knowledge to be a little more celebratory this year, but there’s still lots of division and uncertainty around us. So… good times.

The 5 Of Wands is the card of conflict, but the Knight Of Cups is the antidote — it’s the card of mindfulness and slow and steady emotional awareness. When it comes to the holidays, we don’t want to show up and project all of our pain and grievances on everyone while carving the Christmas ham. We also don’t want to internalize our trauma and let it take us down a path of destructive behavior. There’s a reason the holidays are so hard for so many people.

Let’s look at how we can work with the dynamics of conflict. Firstly, we can’t — and shouldn’t — control what other people say and do. What we can control is how we show up. If nothing else, try and bring more mindfulness into your experience over this next month. If you find yourself emotionally triggered, let it be a lightbulb moment. Let it be an opportunity to slow down and ask yourself: Where is this coming from? What do I need? And how can provide that for myself? There’s no need to deny your feelings, but it is in your best interest to examine your reactivity level.

Secondly, be honest with what you really have the capacity for. You don’t have to attend every party, every family event and every holiday outing. Do what you need to do to bring yourself into balance. Let this time also be one of rest and recharging. It has been a very challenging twp years and we each have a lot to reflect on, and celebrate. Lastly, give yourself grace. It’s not about perfection, it’s only about being present with ourselves and our loved ones with as much love, acceptance and empathy as possible.

If you are interested in a personalized tarot reading from Ashes + Earth, please find out more here, or listen listen to her weekly on the Virtuish podcast.

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